Planned Parenthood: Destroying a Generation One Baby at a Time


This week, as I was just chillin’ in the morning rush hour standstill, I happened to notice what might be the single most idiotic bumper sticker I’ve ever seen:

Am I to believe, asshole in the SUV, that it would be preferable for all people using birth control to, instead, have children? A part of me can’t help but disagree. I mean from a population standpoint it’s a good idea; we’ve got all of these nature reserves and parks that could use a sizable human population. But, on the other hand, don’t you think, asshole, that it’s a bad idea to bring unwanted children into the world?

Because if you’d taken a few minutes to research your stance before slapping that sticker on your ozone destroying wonderbeast, you’d realize that the outlook for such children is bleak. Some will turn out all right, you’re correct there, but there are others to think of. What about that kid who’s going to be abused by his mother who wasted her potential by having children at fifteen? You’re saying that because she’s doing the responsible thing and protecting herself from bad decisions she’s bound to make (it’s all part of the developmental process, you know), she should……what?

Birth control doesn’t destroy anything. It controls births. It allows humans to be humans without dramatic and potentially catastrophic repercussions. It prevents a domino effect of abuse and neglect. If only your own mother had been so well prepared.


8 thoughts on “Planned Parenthood: Destroying a Generation One Baby at a Time

  1. This made my day. Not because the article was funny but because the writer got trolled so hard its hillarious. One little bumper sticker made you so angry that you decided to write an article so wide in scope it included the ozone layer, 15 year old sluts, and wishing that the object of all your hate had been aborted. Well done good sir. Bumper stickers were the best way to troll idiots before the internets was born. Its good to see that the art of pissing off people without using a computer isn’t dead yet.

  2. Trolling really serves no purpose. I talk about the absurdity of trolling when I discuss rhetoric and argument in my classes all the time. What is the point of presenting an argument that does nothing more than reinforce the beliefs of like-minded people and pushes others away? So the person trolling can say, “haha, I pissed someone off . . . just like I must have been pissed off at some point to make such a bold statement to begin with.” Trolls are just people turned assholes by other assholes. There’s really no art to it. Act like a douche or make bold statements with little to no context and someone’s bound to get frustrated.

    Doesn’t a person have to be worked up to a point of irrationality to become technically “trolled?” I detected little evidence of that in your response to the bumper sticker. Everything appeared relevant to your initial claim. Sure, there’s a little ad hominem in there, but it doesn’t detract from your argument. And the comment about the ozone destroying SUV bears relevance, because it points out the hypocrisy of the owner of the bumper sticker. “Don’t “kill” babies! Let’s poison them slowly with . . .” oh shit. Nevermind. Generally these conservative ideals about birth control are accompanied by the belief that global warming is a myth. So I guess the relevance would be lost on them. Anyway, I got it! 🙂

    1. Too true, Kirk. Thanks for the support. Unfortunately, I’m beginning to think that while I wasn’t trolled by the bumper sticker, I was probably trolled by Travis’s asshole comment. Such is life.

  3. I guess Travis trolled me, too, because I feel fairly certain his argument is packed tight with a load of steaming, gassy bullshit. The right-wing morons and christers who get all hot and bothered over birth control don’t give a damn about pissing people off–their agenda purely to proselytize and demonstrate their absolute moral superiority. Those stickers are hubris, nothing more. They don’t care about children except for what caring for children can do for them. It gives them a stage to preach the central essence of American evangelism, otherwise known as “Nanny nanny boo boo, we’re going to Heaven and you are nooo–oootttt.”

    1. That’s a valid fucking point. There’s no evidence at all that political motives behind such assholery have anything to do with pissing people off. You can’t be properly trolled if the opposing party truly believes the views they espouse. This wasn’t a case of trolling, it was merely a byproduct of a fucked up world.

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