October 2: 976-EVIL II

movie reviews

If you’re playing at home, there are going to be days this month when a little voice in your head is going to say, “Wait…you haven’t seen [insert movie title here] parts one, two, or three yet!” I encourage you to ignore that voice. That voice is trying to destroy your happiness.

If you have seen the movies in a franchise that precede some of my selections, good on you. You get a gold star for today. But if you haven’t, fret not. Our studies here are not cumulative. There will be no test.

976-EVIL II is a classic in a most unheard of sense. Mainly because no one refers to it as a classic. Of the few who have seen it, most will either say “it was horrible” or “I was really drunk and can’t quite recall- did it have something to do with a phone?” Those who respond with the latter are your true friends.

This straight-to-video release features a ghost who utilizes astral projection and a 900 number to make contact with coeds and then slaughter them most viscously. All you really need to know about the first film in the series is that it featured this films hunky protagonist (Spike) and a phone line that was used by Satan himself. What makes the very premise of this movie so enjoyable is the leap of faith one has to take in order to accept the fact that Spike is somehow able to track nefariously-used, supernatural phone lines. He rolls into town on his motorcycle and just starts kicking paranormal ass.

When you combine the possessed kitchen appliances, the talking pig’s head, and the unfortunate gal who gets transported into her television and tossed back and forth between a zombie flick and It’s a Wonderful Life, you can’t help but get that unparalleled feeling of b-movie joy. It’s only Tuesday, but don’t think you can’t curl up with a cocktail when you press play. In fact, do yourself a favor- make it a double.

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