October 3: Tremors

movie reviews

So. How’d you like 976-EVIL II? Awesome, right? That pig! It kills!

Let me take you to film school for a moment:

In 1992, Patrick O’Bryan played Spike in 976-EVIL II. He was fantastic. It was the highlight of his career. Two years prior to that straight-to-video gem, he played a forgettable character named Walsh in Pastime. Equally forgettable in that film was a guy named Reed Rudy who played Spicer. Rudy’s real break came with the 1995 film Apollo 13, where he acted alongside the legendary Kevin Bacon.

In 1990, Kevin Bacon wowed audiences across the globe as the worm fighting cowboy, Valentine. In Tremors, Val and his buddy Earl are simple men making a simple life for themselves- at least they are until some great big fucking worm monsters show up and start eating everyone. Together, the duo does battle with the beasts in an effort to save the remaining occupants of Perfection, Texas from utter annihilation. Here are some things that Val says through the course of the film:

“Hey – check this out! I found the ass end!”

“Get out of your pants!”

“‘We gotta do somethin’.’ I don’t know why ‘we’ always has to be me every damn time. We, we, we. What do I look like, an expert in worm?”

“Cold, my ass, he’s dead! We killed it. We killed it! Fuck you!”

“Who died and made you Einstein?”

Trust me, viewing this film just once will whet your appetite for more graboid action. Lucky for you, there are three sequels. You can watch them in November.

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