your Thanksgiving movie list

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This one’s really easy, since there are only two Thanksgiving horror movies that I am aware of:

1. ThanksKilling

Is it a great movie? No. Is it a good movie? No, not really. Is it passable? Sigh. No. But it is a movie about a killer turkey. I think I am in the minority on this one, as even people who are into B horror think it’s an abominable film. But forget them, right?

So there’s this tiny little totem pole and a dog pisses on it, which releases a killer turkey. The turkey is ancient and evil and foulmouthed and was conjured by some racist caricature of a Native American. The turkey does its best to kill a car full of college students who have returned to their hometown for Thanksgiving break. There’s a football player, a slut, a nerd, and a girl who serves as the jock’s love interest.

Key things to know:

a) The turkey wears the not-a-slut’s father’s face as a mask and tricks everyone.
b) The turkey does, in fact, fornicate with the slut.
c) The turkey is very nearly killed, but vows to return…in space.

2. ThanksKilling 3

Apparently “…in space” was a bit too hard for them to pull off. But I admire the fact they weren’t willing to let a missing sequel hold them back.

Okay, I’ll admit that I haven’t seen this one yet. But that’s only because I’m reluctant to pay money for something as intangible as an Amazon Instant Video copy of anything. But maybe you don’t have the same reservations? It looks awesome, right? Killer turkey?

I read the plot synopsis and don’t have a clear enough understanding of the events to be able to write about it here. Google it if you will. I’m sure there’s a trailer. I’d do it for you, but I’ve got two bottles of cough syrup to drink through a crazy straw.

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