Confessions of a Library Page


Sometimes, trying to embrace a minimalist lifestyle means making hard decisions. Last month, my wife and I were cleaning out the boxes we’ve had in storage for the past few years. I got rid of just about everything, which was pretty easy considering I hadn’t needed any of it in recent memory.

The things with memories attached are the hardest to part with. Deep in the back of the shed, I found a box of all my old work stuff, from the library where I’d spent a full decade of my life. I looked through it and decided to pitch just about everything. Except this one thing that I really didn’t want to let go of. So I took it home and scanned it before dropping it in the trash.

And now I’m giving it to you. When you’re young, sometimes you interpret things… differently. What you’re about to read is an incident report I wrote as  Library Page. Names have been censored to protect the innocent.

Incident 1

Incident 2


8 thoughts on “Confessions of a Library Page

  1. You need to write a raunchy library comedy screenplay with this scene. Will Ferrell could make a cameo in the movie as the penis pump patron.

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