My 2010 Top Ten Halloween Movie List

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1. Evil Dead II

The quintessential Halloween movie. It’s got everything: possessed hands, chainsaws, gallons and gallons of blood. Evil Dead II is a masterpiece of horror comedy.

2. Trick ‘r Treat

It’s creepy as hell. So many dead kids…

3. Pumpkinhead

If you’re going to kill a man’s son, make sure you do it in a town without a pumpkin patch.

4. Hellraiser

Celebrate your hedonism! Celebrate it!

5. Dead Alive

Stop motion rat monkeys and the single greatest zombie death scene in the history of the world.

6. Slither

A new classic. You’ll never take a bath again.

7. Dawn of the Dead

This remake of Romero’s classic is creepy and fun. Influenced zombie growls like no other movie in recent history.

8. Let the Right One In

The only reason this isn’t higher up on the list is because it makes me feel cold. It is scary as hell and so well done, you won’t believe it’s a horror movie. The new American version can suck it.

9. Orphan

You might see it coming, but you still won’t be prepared.

10. The Lost Boys

Halloween ain’t Halloween without a little camp. And the Frog brothers.

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The Room

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The Room

Sometimes I get pissed off. It happens. But sometimes the reason for my anger makes me regret the way I’ve lived my life up to that point. This is one of those times. Prior to last Saturday, I had no idea that this film existed. Because of this, I have missed out on so much that is now of the utmost importance in my life.

This movie is an experience. When we walked in, we were offered fistfuls of plastic spoons. Our quizzical looks were answered only with a “you’ll know what to do” explanation. And that reasoning was on the money. I now know why god invented such wasteful, environmentally damaging products: to fling at theater screens. My thanks go out to the gentlemen in the back, who, in addition to being able to spot framed photos of cutlery from miles away, were well versed in the art of heckling. Bravo, Sirs.

The plot follows the romantic entanglement of a group of folks, some friends, some not so much. And then there’s Denny. Hi Denny. Its scenes are probably the most dramatic ones I’ve ever witnessed. Its themes the most profound.

If it ever comes back to town…so help me god.