Hail to the king, Baby.
Elvis didn’t die. He simply switched places with an impersonator so that he could fade comfortably into obscurity. He’s getting on in years now and has moved into Shady Acres Rest Home. His best pal there is none other than John F. Kennedy, dyed black and made paraplegic by Linden B. Johnson. The pair of them team up to fight an evil mummy wreaking havoc in their rest home, a deplorable beast who is murdering senior citizens by sucking their souls out straight through their assholes.
The premise is ridiculous. But try not to be moved as you watch these two old men coming to terms with who they are and who they once were. Very few movies are this affecting while being this silly. Did I mention there are parts that’ll even tickle the fear sensors in your brain? Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis star in this film which was, arguably, the best thing to come out of 2002.
I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who bought a copy of The Egg Said Nothing in the month of June. Together, we were able to raise $123.71 for The Royale.
I hope to see you all at The Royale for the grand opening this Friday, July 22. They’ll be showing Trollhunter and Army of Darkness. Groovy, eh?
1. Evil Dead II
The quintessential Halloween movie. It’s got everything: possessed hands, chainsaws, gallons and gallons of blood. Evil Dead II is a masterpiece of horror comedy.
2. Trick ‘r Treat
It’s creepy as hell. So many dead kids…
If you’re going to kill a man’s son, make sure you do it in a town without a pumpkin patch.
Celebrate your hedonism! Celebrate it!
5. Dead Alive
Stop motion rat monkeys and the single greatest zombie death scene in the history of the world.
A new classic. You’ll never take a bath again.
7. Dawn of the Dead
This remake of Romero’s classic is creepy and fun. Influenced zombie growls like no other movie in recent history.
8. Let the Right One In
The only reason this isn’t higher up on the list is because it makes me feel cold. It is scary as hell and so well done, you won’t believe it’s a horror movie. The new American version can suck it.
You might see it coming, but you still won’t be prepared.
10. The Lost Boys
Halloween ain’t Halloween without a little camp. And the Frog brothers.